What Type of Parent You Are?- Different Parenting Styles and their Effects on Children

It is not always easy to be a good parent to your children, especially during the teenage years. However, no matter how hard parenting seems to you, remember, it comes with great rewards. But, you get your rewards much later in your life.

Good parenting requires a great deal of routine and consistency to maintain control over the children. A good parent will always aim to develop a sense of responsibility and independence in his/her children. Parents adopt different parenting plans depending on their child’s age and stage of development.

The development psychologists have always been interested in studying the patterns of how the parents affect the child’s development. But, finding the link between the exact cause and their after-effects is quite tricky.

Studies show that children raised in different environments can later develop similar kinds of personalities. On the other hand, children who grow up in the same households can come up with different types of personalities in the future.

Despite these above challenges, the researchers have concluded that types of parenting styles do affect the future personalities of children. In the early 1960s, a famous psychologist Diana Baumrind carried out a study on around 100 preschool kids. She used parental interviews, naturalistic observation, and other research methods to identify the trends of different parenting styles.

The different dimensions consist of warmth and nurturing, disciplinary strategies, expectations of maturity and control, and communication styles. Based on these dimensions, the psychologist Diana Baumrind suggested that most types of parents follow any one of the three parenting styles. However, there is an addition of another parenting style following the studies of Martin and Maccoby.

Different Parenting Styles and Their Effects

Having more than one kid is often a challenging task for the parents. But they also fill your life with joy and laughter.If you wonder how to manage kids, you can refer to the characteristics of popular parenting styles. Although no parenting style is perfect, yet one can take up the useful features of these styles and use them accordingly to raise their kids.

types of parenting styles

Source: https://www.parentingscience.com/parenting-styles.html

The four parenting styles which help to shape up the personality of a child are:

1. Authoritarian Parenting

Baumrind identified the “Authoritarian Parenting Style” as one of the essential parenting methods in 1991. An authoritarian parent takes full control over the child with low levels of warmth and care. The parent follows a strict discipline style with the child that includes:

  • Limited flexibility
  • High expectations
  • Frequent use of punishment
  • Minimal negotiation with the child
  • One-way communication from parent to child

The authoritarian parents are often dictatorial and domineering. They do not feel the necessity to explain the reasoning behind such strict rules to their kids. They believe that they have full control over their child’s life decisions and hence, can do anything without any explanation. Such parents aren’t much responsive to their children. However, they expect their children to make zero errors and produce outstanding results.

Research shows that in such cases, children experience early symptoms of anxiety and depression due toexcessive parental control.  A famous psychoanalyst named Bowlby stated that such anxiety might develop due to the lack of opportunity to develop autonomy through the independent exploration of the surroundings.

The psychologists believe that such harmful punishments like spanking and scolding aren’t much help in the long run for the kids. Often they turn out to be stubborn and even sometimes aggressive.

2. Authoritative Parenting

Another popular parenting style among the different parenting methods is authoritative parenting. According to Baumrind, 1991, the authoritative parenting style includes both high levels of control as well as warmth. The characteristics of parents who follow this parenting style are:

  • Reasonable and nurturing
  • Explain disciplinary rules clearly
  • Engage in frequent communication with their children
  • Set high expectations
  • Demanding and responsive
  • Provides both criticism and praise
  • Provides freedom but monitor the actions of the kids

The authoritative parents make sure to involve their children in different educational activities. If the child fails, instead of punishing the child, these types of parents forgive and motivate them to perform better. Hence the children can learn through their life experiences. The children who are raised in such an environment turn out to be liberal and confident. They can adjust in any circumstances as they are quite open-minded about different situations.

Many researchers feel that authoritative parenting is the most beneficial parenting style among different parenting skills. That is because; this style helps the children to become mature at an early stage of life. They love to explore their creative sides as they feel encouraged by their parents regularly.

Due to the constant support and care, authoritative parents can help the children to develop essential skills like self-regulation and self-control.

3. Permissive Parenting

The permissive style of parenting is the final skill among the different parenting styles provided by Baumrind. The permissive parenting style allows the parents to raise their children without any strict rules and discipline. The children make their own decisions in such cases and often lack respect for training and regulations.

In many cases, parents following this kind of parental style are called indulgent parents. They have meager demands from their kids and are lenient.  They never confront their kids on their wrongdoings and use gifts to bribe their children.

The permissive parents are affectionate and caring toward their children and hence aren’t strict towards their behaviours. Due to the lack of discipline and low expectations, the children are generally underachievers.

4. Uninvolved Parenting

In addition to the findings of Baumrind, psychologist John Martin and Eleanor Maccoby found another the fourth parenting style called uninvolved parenting. This style is also known as the neglectful parenting style as the parents often don’t pay attention to their children. They only fulfil the basic needs of the kids and leave them on their own. The characteristics of such parents are:

  • The parents are emotionally distant from their kids
  • The kids receive minimal or no supervision from the parents
  • The parents fail to show any warmth and love towards their children
  • The parents never attend the school and other events of the kids like parent-teacher meets, etc.
  • Sometimes, such parents avoid their kids intentionally
  • The parents always remain preoccupied with their problems and hence do not like to deal with their kids
  • The parents have minimal communication with their kids

As a result of such upbringing, the children often remain emotionally withdrawn from others. They learn to provide for themselves at a very tender age due to a lack of care and support from the parents. Usually, kids also suffer from anxiety and depression. They fail to trust people fully and never become dependent on anybody. They also show signs of substance abuse and exhibit delinquency during their teenage years.

What Are the Impacts of These Parenting Styles on the Child’s Development?

All four parenting styles are quite different from each other. Each of the techniques has its advantages along with certain disadvantages. Hence, sometimes, it is quite challenging to find out your parenting style, which would be beneficial for your child’s future.

Baumrind did intensive research to find out the impact of all these parenting styles on the child’s development. The essential findings of her study were:

  • Children become more obedient and skilled when raised by authoritarian parents. However, these children often rank lower in happiness, self-esteem, and social competence.
  • The authoritative parents raise children who are successful and happy.
  • The permissive parents raise children who face problems with abiding rules and often perform poorly in school.
  • In the case of uninvolved parenting styles, the children tend to lack self-control skills. They have low self-esteem and perform very poorly in all the sectors of life.

Beneficial Tips to Improve Parenting Skills

different parenting plans

Every parent is perfect in their way. Many times you might feel of being wrong in certain situations. Do not be upset as just like your kids; you are also learning how to be a parent. There isn’t a particular handbook that can guide you to be a perfect parent for your children. Although there are different parenting styles, you can always find out your parenting style according to your requirements.

You will make mistakes and learn from them in due course of time. However, here are a few essential easy parenting tips that can help you to establish a healthy bond with your children.

1. Increase Positive Interaction With Your Kids

Remember, kids would develop a sense of trust only if you allow them to share their hearts out with you. Parents need to increase positive interactions with their children as it will enable the child to share their views with their parents. Engage yourself in interactive sessions with your kids as it will help you to bond with your kids well.

2. Never Ignore The Requirements Of The Kid

Many parents do not even get the chance to go to shops to buy their baby products. Hence, to save time, many parents prefer online shopping for baby products.

different parenting methods

The new-born stage is the crucial stage of the baby’s developmental phase. During this stage, they need your care, love, and attention the most. The common mistakes that parents often make with the babies are that they ignore their cries on several occasions. Many times, parents think that the baby is crying for attention, and hence, they overlook such cries.

Although in some cases, it can be beneficial, persistent cries can be a signal for a problematic situation. Especially if the child cries every night, then try to follow the pattern to understand the cause of the cry.

3. Spend Quality Time with Your Children

different parenting styles and their effects

Work is essential, and so are your kids. Do not let your work pressure and stress mess up your family life. Plan your work accordingly to make sure that you can spend quality time with your kids. If you have more than one kid, then it is essential to spend time with each of them separately. Eventually, your child would start trusting you with their secrets and feelings.

4. Be a Friend and Not a Strict Parent to the Teenager

Teenage years are quite tough for both the parents and the child. The kid always feels left out and faces problems in sharing their thoughts with anyone. Often parents become anxious about the teenagers and eventually convert into a strict parent. This is the common mistake that almost every parent does with adolescents.

However, such strictness ultimately leads to the formation of a barrier between the parent and the child. So instead of being strict, try to be a friend to your young son or daughter. Let your kid know that you are there to understand all their problems without any judgement. With such an attitude, you can see how this parental tip can transform your relationship with your children.

5. Always Set Proper Boundaries

Discipline and structure are essential for a child to flourish in life. You can be a parent as well as a friend to your child. Make sure to explain the rules thoroughly to your kids and their boundaries.

Let them understand why these rules are essential to you as well to your kids too. Answer all their queries patiently and clearly to avoid any future misunderstandings. As a result, your kids would respect your choices and also value their relationship with you.

6. Always Practice What You Teach the Kids

Children always pick up what they see rather than what they are told to do. So before you preach anything, make sure to maintain that in your regular life. Be kind to the people around you and practice honesty as your children will learn such virtues from you.

7. Do Not Demand Respect From Your Kids, Earn It!

Generally, many parents feel that they would always be respected by their children no matter what they do and say. But that isn’t the case as you can never demand respect from anybody, especially from your children. You need to earn it from them so that the children never feel pressurized to accept you or your values.

8. Learn To Apologize To Your Kids

different parenting styles affect child development

It is okay to mess up conversations or activities with your kids. But to mend the bridges, as a parent, you need to extend your hand to them. This way, you can also teach your children the importance of apologies and forgiveness.

9. Always Make Sure To Let Your Kids Know How Much You Love Your Partner

Remember that you should let your children know how much you love your spouse. The kids feel secure when they see their parents happy and content with each other. They also learn to value relationships when they see both of their parents respecting each other. They look up to your life to draw inspiration for their future.

10. Build Up a Strong Support System for Your Kids

Keep an eye on your child’s behaviour towards the elders and their peers. Interact with his school teacher, coach, and even grandparents to know about their language and their conduct. Through this, you can understand how your child interacts in public. If you find anything obnoxious about their behaviour, try to med them in a friendly way.

11. Be Consistent

Do not change your rules and attitude toward your children very often. That is because an unstable environment isn’t very healthy for the child. So, plan your actions accordingly and set rules that you never have to break in any circumstances. Let your kids know the reasoning behind such rules to avoid any miscommunication between each other.

12. Never Fight In Front Of Your Kids

different parenting skills

It is pretty natural to fight with your spouse. But never fight with your spouse in front of your children. Such disputes between the parents can have a lifelong negative impact on your child. So try to resolve your issues in a closed environment away from your kids.

13. Practice Patience

Patience is essential, mainly when you deal with teenage kids. The adolescent kids often go through many emotional as well as hormonal changes. Hence, they often remain irritated and fail to trust anybody around them.

14. Seek Help When You Need It

Raising a child is a great job, and it is quite natural to feel stressed out when you have your first child. You might require help from other family members to take care of your kids. Do not feel guilty if you ever have to ask for advice from your friends and family.

In the case of teenagers, you need to be their friend rather than a strict parent. You need to make them believe that their secrets and feelings are safe with you. Listen to their worries and feelings patiently without correcting them at the drop of a hat. Such an attitude will help you to make a strong bond of love and faith with your kids.

Always remember that good parenting is hard work and requires patience and time. You don’t need to be a perfect one but a suitable one for your children. Although different parenting styles affect child development, the most important factor will always be your unconditional love. Besides being a friendly guide to your children, also be a firm one to maintain proper discipline in their lives.

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