“Your violence against your child, or inefficiency in defending your child from violence by other family members, reveals YOUR WEAKNESS and INCAPABILITY as a parent! Next time, before you indulge or let others indulge in such acts…THINK AGAIN!!
Read this blog for supporting evidence against ALL FORMS OF VIOLENCE against children.”
Many a times, we might have come across parents (or may be those parents!) who feel that scolding or slapping a child is the best way to inculcate in them “the lessons of life”. These parents feel that when a child doesn’t obey, or follow “their rules”, then it is the parents’ duty to use this weapon of theirs to discipline their child.
If you too believe in this theory…then SORRY!…you’re grossly mistaken!
Let me put across few reasons why you should NOT hit your child.
- You’re not the OWNER of your child – you’re a parent. God didn’t give you an “object” to be made prim and proper, rather a “human being” whom you have to raise to the best of your abilities, and love and care accepting all flaws and shortcomings. Discover new ways to put your point across instead of following this easy but completely flawed route.
- Think if whole of the world thought that hitting solves the problems, we all would have been out on the roads with sticks and rods—hitting almost everyone whom we meet! Hitting imposes your superiority—it doesn’t make you a parent, it makes you a dictator!
- Studies reveal a link between physical punishment and the risk of mood disorders and mental illness in kids. In fact, child maltreatment may even scar your child’s brain! Studies show that the brain activity in children raised in violent homes resembled that seen in soldiers exposed to combat.
- It’s not just the physical hitting that’s harmful. The effects of verbal abuse, tongue-lashing and emotionally charged loud outbursts are even more dangerous. Mental scars last longer than the physical ones! Threats to abandon the child if he/she doesn’t obey you—like saying “I’ll leave you if you do this” or saying “I’ll slap you if you don’t do this”—makes your child believe that he/she, after all, isn’t so important to you. Withdrawal of your love can mean the end of trust that the parent and the child are bound to share.
- Physical hitting as well as “verbal slaps” lowers your child’s self-esteem. The child may start having a feeling of inferiority…a sense of being imperfect and not “up to the mark” for you or even for the world.
- Maria Montessori, the pioneer of Montessori method of education, believed that children’s hands are tools for exploring, an extension of the child’s natural curiosity. Slapping them sends a powerful negative message.
- Hitting does not improve the behaviour. In fact, the more you hit, the more the child misbehaves—either in front of you or behind your back. The more you hit, the lesser respect the child ends up having for you!
- Violence begets violence! By hitting your child, you send across the signal that hitting is the best method to put your thoughts across. Violence that you breed at home will result in violent attitude in the generations to come in your family because your child will hit the younger ones at home and on growing up, will hit his/her own kids too. Violence begins at home—much like charity does! Violent households result in a violent society.
- As per Dr. Sears—a world-famous paediatric—In a prospective study spanning nineteen years, researchers found that children who were raised in homes with a lot of corporal punishment, turned out to be more antisocial and egocentric. It was found that physical violence became the accepted norm for these children, when they became teenagers and adults. In addition, college students showed more psychological disturbances, if they grew up in a home with less praise, more scolding, more corporal punishment, and more verbal abuse.
- Now—the most serious and unexpected reason—as per Harvard University psychiatrists, verbal beatings hurt as much as sexual abuse!
Now, the next time you think of scolding, slapping or spanking your child…think of HOW WEAK YOU ARE as a parent! Your child deserves your love…if you can’t give that love…you don’t deserve to be a parent…simple! If you can’t find better ways to put across your message, or if you feel that slappings and scoldings are the only methods by which your child listens to you…then it reflects YOUR IMMATURITY and INEFFICIENCY!
Don’t blame the child. The child didn’t arrive in this world with any instruction manual…It’s your duty to give that instruction manual to your child…in form of a good upbringing…and you should be ready to tweak that instruction manual of yours…to suit your child’s needs.
Remember, your child is a beautiful gift of God... a miracle!…stand up against the world for your child, but never stand up against your child! Spread love!!!